Author Topic: Something, Something, Something Dark Side  (Read 6086 times)

Offline The Third Revelation

  • Active Member
  • Posts: 255
  • I've got two words for you...
    • View Profile
Something, Something, Something Dark Side
« on: September 15, 2008, 04:37:12 AM »
The following quotes are from Something, Something, Something Dark Side, the second Star Wars spoof from Family Guy, due to air late 2008-early 2009. The following quotes are from the hidden table read easter-egg from the Blue Harvest DVD. Please note that these quotes are from the first draft of the script, meaning that it is likely that these will be edited or removed.

*SPOILERS*

    Leia/Lois: We need you.
    Han/Peter: Oh really? "We" or "I"?
    Leia/Lois: [nervously] What do you mean?
    Han/Peter: You don't want me to leave because of the way you feel about me, huh?
    Leia/Lois: [nervously] Oh, you're imagining...
    Han/Peter: [higher] Huh?
    Leia/Lois: [agitated] There's no way...
    Han/Peter: [even higher] Huh?
    Leia/Lois: [agitated] If you think...!
    Han/Peter: [even higher still] Huh?!
    Leia/Lois: How could you even...!
    Han/Peter: [really, really high] Huh?! [normal voice] **Oh, I should've started lower.** Anyway, I bet you're afraid I'm gonna leave without giving you a good bye kiss.
    Leia/Lois: Eh, I'd rather kiss George Takei.
    [adjust (???) to reveal George Takei]
    George Takei: Hello.
    **Might have been Seth MacFarlane, not specifically Peter, stating that he started too high.**

    [Han (Peter) turns to Leia (Lois)]
    Han/Peter: Well, Your Clitorisness, it looks like you've managed to keep me around a little longer.
    Leia/Lois: I assure you, I had nothing to do with it.
    Han/Peter: Yeah right. I think you just can't stand to let a fat guy like me out of your sights.
    Leia/Lois: [agitated] Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-lookin' nerf-herder!
    [Han (Peter) hits Leia (Lois) as hard as he can]
    Han/Peter: You can't use that word! Only we can use that word!
    Leia/Lois: You think you're hot shit but you're really cold piss.
    [Leia (Lois) crosses over and kisses Luke (Chris) on the mouth. During the kiss, she opens her eyes and slowly backs away]
    Leia/Lois: [stunned] I-I-I don't know what it is, but when I kiss you, i-it's like kissing my brother.
    Luke/Chris: Well look, even if we're related... I-I'm-I'm from a foreign planet so it's okay.

    [Princess Leia (Lois) is addressing a group of rebel pilots]
    Leia/Lois: May I have everyone's attention please? We're evacuating into outer space with literally infinite directions in which to flee. However, we have decided that our transports will travel directly towards the fleet of Star Destroyers. Any questions?
    Rebel 1: Yeah, um, is there someone from the military we can talk to, a man perhaps?

    [Cut along to Luke getting into his Snowspeeder]
    Dak: Feeling okay sir?
    Luke/Chris: Just like new! How 'bout you, Dak?
    Dak: I feel like I can take on the whole Empire myself!
    [Luke (Chris) stops]
    Luke/Chris: Really? 'Cause... 'Cause that'd be awesome! [shouting] Hey everyone, Dak says he's got this one!
    [the rebels all cheer and start landing their speeders]
    Dak: You know it bitches!
    [Dak takes off. In space, Dak flies up to the planet and stops, facing the Imperial Fleet]
    Dak: Hey Imperial Fleet, get ready to suck some Dak!
    [In the Star Destroyer, two Imperial officers watch in the command center as Dak's ship approaches]
    Officer 1: That guy seems pretty fired up.
    Officer 2: Should we turn around?
    Officer 1: ...Maybe we should shoot him first, and if that doesn't work, we'll take off.
    [they shoot one laser blast at him, blowing him up. Back on Hoth, there is an ominous silence as the rebel defence forces wait for the approach of the Imperial troops]
« Last Edit: September 15, 2008, 04:39:12 AM by The Third Revelation »
"Does it make you happy? You're so stra-a-ange."

Offline Bond, James Bond

  • Administrator
  • Minor Board Deity
  • Posts: 31,805
  • Licensed to Ban
    • View Profile
Re: Something, Something, Something Dark Side
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2008, 06:33:26 AM »
Love the last two.

I hope they put together the Wrath of Khan one they wanted to do soon.

Offline The Third Revelation

  • Active Member
  • Posts: 255
  • I've got two words for you...
    • View Profile
Re: Something, Something, Something Dark Side
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2008, 03:57:12 AM »


Looks like Mort Goldman will be playing Lando (why?)....originally it was suppose to be Ollie Williams, which would have been a million times funnier.

Joe Swanson as the Imperial Probe Droid is a hoot.

"Does it make you happy? You're so stra-a-ange."

Offline Xero

  • Board Legend
  • Posts: 11,583
  • Let the big man do his job.
    • View Profile
Re: Something, Something, Something Dark Side
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2008, 04:29:12 AM »
Ernie the Chicken is Boba Fett!

I think they should save Ollie Williams for the third one, as that guy that says "It's a trap!"
"Well Steve, I think it's more like we both had this rich neighbor named Xerox and I broke into his house to steal the TV set and found out that you had already stolen it." - Bill Gate's response to Steve Jobs' accusation of theft.

Offline The Third Revelation

  • Active Member
  • Posts: 255
  • I've got two words for you...
    • View Profile
Re: Something, Something, Something Dark Side
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2008, 02:18:52 PM »
Quote from: Xero

I think they should save Ollie Williams for the third one, as that guy that says "It's a trap!"

Admiral Ackbar....that's a good one! 
"Does it make you happy? You're so stra-a-ange."