Author Topic: When Insults Had Class  (Read 3468 times)

Offline Rick King AIFD

  • Veteran Member
  • Posts: 2,469
  • official what-iffer
    • View Profile
When Insults Had Class
« on: September 05, 2009, 05:49:16 AM »
When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I
admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if
there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you
here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in
others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul
Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -
Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for
support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -
Groucho Marx

........If I have failed, then I have failed while daring greatly, henceforth my place shall never be found amoung those timid souls who know not the thrill of victory or bitter defeat....

Offline Data007

  • Eminent Member
  • Posts: 5,478
  • What? You don't have voices in your head?
    • View Profile
Re: When Insults Had Class
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2009, 02:03:42 PM »
This is why I love insults that make people scratch their heads.
"Titans are the God-Machines of the Adeptus Mechanicus. Imagine a city. Now imagine that city is angry at you, can walk, and has continent leveling weapons aimed at you. And is inhabited by more things that hate you. You have a rough idea of a Titan."

"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied chains us all irrevocably." Judge Aaron Satie

New Haven Chronicles

Offline evilsmileyface12

  • Senior Member
  • Posts: 3,830
    • View Profile
Re: When Insults Had Class
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2009, 04:37:28 PM »
-"do you miss me?" "How can i miss you if you wont go away?" -My wife  ;D

-"you're drunk!" "you're ugly, but in the morning i will be sober, but you will still be ugly" winston churchill

ESF-12

Offline MageGrayWolf

  • Veteran Member
  • Posts: 1,822
    • View Profile
    • JKcoder
Re: When Insults Had Class
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2009, 03:39:07 AM »
At dinner with my family my uncle walks in through the door.
His new born son in the other room begins to cry.
My aunt says: He hears daddies back!
Me: Yeah, I think I would start crying to if I were him.

"Consume defecation and cease to exist."= "Eat shit and die"

"Fornicate while egressing "= "Fuck off"

Offline caisson2delta

  • Veteran Member
  • Posts: 2,305
    • View Profile
Re: When Insults Had Class
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2009, 11:00:49 AM »
You threw me on this one. When I first read the topic, before clicking on the thread, I thought this was going to be some synopsis of Archie Bunker or something like that. There are some very good ones in there.

My old man emailed me a list of quotes, made by some famous american politicians and generals, that may have constituted some good insults. I can't remember them verbatim, or specifically who said this one, but it was so great.

Some time during the era when deGaul was the prime minister of France, there was this desire by the French to have all Americans leave NATO and pull out of Europe, entirely. Some American (wish I could remember who) asked deGaul if that included all the Americans buried in his country. What kind of come back do you give a rebuttal like that?

Offline Data007

  • Eminent Member
  • Posts: 5,478
  • What? You don't have voices in your head?
    • View Profile
Re: When Insults Had Class
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2009, 12:47:30 PM »
One I thought of last night...

"I may be fat, but I can lose the weight. Inbreeding's permanent."
"Titans are the God-Machines of the Adeptus Mechanicus. Imagine a city. Now imagine that city is angry at you, can walk, and has continent leveling weapons aimed at you. And is inhabited by more things that hate you. You have a rough idea of a Titan."

"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied chains us all irrevocably." Judge Aaron Satie

New Haven Chronicles

Offline Feynraith

  • Junior Member
  • Posts: 58
    • View Profile
Re: When Insults Had Class
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2009, 03:59:14 AM »
I've used this a few times...
"If I throw a stick will you go away?"

Maybe not in the same league as Churchill, but it sort of works