Author Topic: History of Starfleet -- WIP  (Read 14375 times)

Online Shik

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History of Starfleet -- WIP
« on: July 17, 2010, 12:15:53 PM »
Some of you may recall I have that silly Starfleet register project that I was banging away at for a great many years, & that I finished it at the end of last year. The intent has always been to put the information online, on a website of my own making, & release it to the world. That requires more than the information, though. It means writing up a history & a piece on each ship class & the like. Fortunately, I can take a basic template from the Starfleet Museum, because Masao is an actual technical writer & has laid things out well. But this is my gig, & his work is merely a guideline.

The way I laid things out is to have all these ship classes grouped into "generations". Each generation would have a page for it as sort of a subindex for the attendant classes. I've decided to start off by writing those pages first because it allows me to lay out the history of what I'm writing about, & thus place each class in the proper framing when I get write about it. Unfortunately, the rate has been slow because of external influences & my own laziness, & so even though I should now be half way through them, I've only just finished the first page for the Foundation generation. Hopefully now that this first hurdle is done, I can really get going on the rest.

From time to time, I'm going to post what I have here for feedback & editing. Specifically, what I need is content-related critique relating to what I've written. I don't mind construction-related feedback, but I already have a few people who know writing well enough that they can objectively look at a piece & not only critique it but point out problems.

Anyway, here's a look at the page for the Foundation generation, which covers the the events leading to the Federation's founding, the creation of Starfleet, & the ships that formed it in 2161.

Offline Jimi James

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2010, 02:31:15 PM »
That was an incredibly good read, well written and informative, without being so laden with minute details that it becomes burdened and boring.  I really liked how you handled the integration of the various space forces from the member worlds, building on the efforts from the Romulan War and previous joint endeavors.  I also like how you played the role of humans being the glue that held so much of it together and how that played into the very Earth centric development of the Federation and Starfleet.  It comes off as being a very natural development and doesn't feel like a shoehorned explanation for something that's trying to be worked out after the fact.

I spotted a few typos I think, but nothing in the way of major problems.

I look forward to seeing how the rest of it goes.
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Offline caisson2delta

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2010, 05:39:51 AM »
Outstanding work, Shik. There isn't much else that I can say, that Jimi hasn't already said. I will be waiting for some more postings because I find this subject matter quite interesting. Don't keep us waiting too long.

Offline Penta

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2010, 06:56:19 AM »
I think you did the nearly impossible. You made the founding of the UFP make sense, not only in dramatic terms but politically. I am deeply amused at how Earth became UFP capital despite itself voting against the idea. :)

I'm not so sure, however, that the Earth of Enterprise would give up having its own, non-UFP defense force. They'd seem very likely to keep a local militia-type force, just in case this whole Federation thing went splat in arguments enough to make a Tellarite weary, or something.

Offline Bernd

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2010, 08:58:53 AM »
The best I have ever read on the topic! It's the first time that especially the political ramifications are worked out so well.

Online Shik

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2010, 04:43:26 PM »
Thank you muchly, gents. I've already gotten underway on the next round, the Unity generation (which covers 2162 to 2175), & will continue it just as soon as I stop being fucked up by this bullshit whatever going on with my kidney area.

I'm not so sure, however, that the Earth of Enterprise would give up having its own, non-UFP defense force. They'd seem very likely to keep a local militia-type force, just in case this whole Federation thing went splat in arguments enough to make a Tellarite weary, or something.


But that's the thing. Starfleet WAS their militia force, & as we see later one, Starfleet seems to be in charge of Earth security, much more so than any other world. Is this a holdover clause from founding? Perhaps.

Offline Broken Subspace Scene

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2010, 05:20:16 PM »
Looks good, clearly well thought out. 

- This relates to your prose (sorry), but I find for a history piece/technical document, it doesn't seem objective enough in a few places.  I think you might be better served by toning down some of the glowing descriptions/effusive praise of certain things and letting the facts as you detail them speak for themselves.  This really jumped out at me on the first page. 

- I liked your interpretation of the Earth-Romulan War; given the way Enterprise set things up, it didn't make sense that it would be Earth going it alone.

- Some of the unification, selection of Earth as the capital, etc., seems a little bit too easy.  Could it work better to start with the government more decentralized (wouldn't everyone want a piece of the pie?) and have Earth naturally/gradually become the centre?  Also, although you described debate, etc., one would think resolving 8+ legal and economic systems would be extremely challenging and contentious.  I think mentioning some difficulties here would add some realism.

- Seems odd that the Bison would have "unrivaled" cargo capacity, etc.  Shouldn't established merchants like the Tellarites, etc, be far beyond that?

- What about ground troops/policing?

- The ship count seems a little low for supply/cargo vessels.  Granted, I would imagine many of these would be under civilian flag rather than government authority, but the other races have been plying the starlanes for far longer than Earth. 

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2010, 05:41:50 PM »
This is a generalized sort of index page to introduce the generation & the times surrounding them. It's supposed to be vague. Some of the things you mention can & will be covered in the detail pages (cargo capacity, etc.); others (ground troops, legal/economic elements) won't becasue it's not relevant to the task at hand.

Offline Broken Subspace Scene

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2010, 02:46:43 PM »
Ok, I guess I kind of lost sight of the fact that it's a Starfleet history, not a Federation one, so sorry if those were  a little off base.  I thought cargo capacity was relevant in a broad strokes kind of way given you indicated a specific number from several species' fleets in the text. 

Online Shik

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2010, 05:41:55 PM »
Foundation generation took me 7½ months to get out; this one took one month. Granted, I'd already laid it out with the first, but still...!

Here's the index writeup for the Unity generation, which covers ships from 2162 to 2175. it may be a little sparse, but that's the joy of editing.

Next up: Trailblazer generation!

Offline Juvat

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2010, 07:53:12 AM »
Nice work, Shik. :)  I've enjoyed reading both installments so far and I'm looking forward to the next one.  The only thing I've got a question about is your mention of Captain Charles Tucker.  How can he be a captain if he's dead?
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Offline Indefatigable

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2010, 08:32:35 AM »
Shik, I certainly like your writing style.  I have numerous books on aviation and maritime design history, and this read just as well as the best of them.  However, I wouldn't mind an explanation as to why Earth designs carried on while the others seemed to fade out (although not entirely).  The only thing I can think of is that Vulcan ships might have had some problem or other (that ring nacelle having massive power demands say - half the hull taken up with a huge reactor) and that the mostly Human design team was being a bit parochial.

Anyway, keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the next instalment.
Still rambling away...

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2010, 09:13:41 AM »
Juvat: I don't ascribe to anything about TATV. Ten years & no promotions? No way. So with that in mind, it opens Tucker up to the career he should have. And besides, it was just a holoprogram. As...interesting as the war-era ENT novels are, I can't abide their explanations, either.

Indy:  That's a good point, & in fact it'll probably be addressed some in the next installment.

In the meantime, I have some edits to do. I just posted it as I finished without giving it a proper read-through.

Offline caisson2delta

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2010, 10:47:21 AM »
Really nice work Shik. I enjoyed reading this as much as your first installment. I like your inclusion of Tucker, Reed, and Mayweather as captains. I was always of the same opinion as you, regarding TATV. For all we know, Riker or someone else, programmed it that way.

Great job and keep it up.

Offline Marian87

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #14 on: August 16, 2010, 01:31:52 PM »
Cool, they sound like documentaries with a British narrator in my head :P.
Good job.
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Offline Broken Subspace Scene

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #15 on: August 16, 2010, 05:21:34 PM »
I don't know how to elaborate, but, uh, it was good.  So there's that.

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #16 on: August 21, 2010, 11:02:09 AM »
I did a little cleanup edit on the Unity generation document while doing laundry. Edits include grammar & flow tweaks here & there, plus addition of supply proposals & a little expounding on on other pre-Prime Directive "violations".

Offline Jimi James

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #17 on: August 21, 2010, 03:43:20 PM »
I really like the way you're covering the history.  It allows you to expand further upon on things then you might be able to if you had just done a detailed timeline of major events.  It's making me want to go back once my timeline for New Haven is finished and expand on it further.

So, well done so far. :)
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Online Shik

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #18 on: September 04, 2010, 10:28:09 AM »
Was thinking at work this week about why Starfleet ships are given the USS prefix as well as the NCC codes. I just wrote this up as an addition into the Foundation document.

Another issue involved the identification of Starfleet vessels. Given the operational scope of both missions and range, ships were eventually bound to encounter species and governments that had never heard of the Federation or Starfleet. How best then to distinguish official vessels in Federation service from the countless numbers of civilian ships that might bear similar or duplicate names? The Advisory Committee bandied about several theories until a solution was hit upon. A young lieutenant noted how during the days of Earth’s wet navies, several nation-states (notably the United States and the United Kingdom) prefaced ships’ names with a ship prefix that operating authority. Starfleet, she stated, could use something similar. Several possibilities were considered until a final debate led to the adoption of the “USS” prefix. Numerous phrases were coined over the years in attempts to turn the prefix into a backronym over the years, including “United Star Ship”, “United Space Ship”, and “United Systems Starship” but Starfleet never formally adopted any of these created identifications, and the practice fell into disuse by crews after about a century.

Additionally, usage of the existing Earth hull registry system was appropriated into Federation service. The combination of lettered prefix codes and follow-on numbers proved ideal for general usage. A federation registry code would be assigned to all vessels; civilian ships would also have a similarly designed planetary registration code assigned, with a lettered prefix indicating planet-of-registry followed by numbers. (Starfleet ships being federal vessels had no planetary codes despite formal registry on dozens of worlds.) Federation codes were assigned by random computer selection, and NCC was chosen for formal fleet usage, while NX was instituted for experimental and prototype vessels.


Will finish Trailblazer this weekend & then start in on Third Wave.

Offline Juvat

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #19 on: September 06, 2010, 03:37:24 PM »
Nice way to explain how it doesn't truly mean anything. :)
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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #20 on: September 11, 2010, 08:38:04 PM »
OK, here's the next installment: Trailblazer generation, covering 2186 to 2202. There's a lot in here, so I apologize for the length--about 14 pages. Deeper I go, the longer this shit gets.

Next up: Third Wave.

Offline Juvat

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #21 on: September 13, 2010, 06:57:59 AM »
Very nice addition.  I don't think it was too long, but there was some extraneous stuff that you might consider editing later such as making some sentences more concise.
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Online Shik

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #22 on: September 13, 2010, 09:50:20 AM »
Could you give me an example, please? If there's a way to ease the flow, I'm all for it.

Offline Juvat

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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #23 on: September 13, 2010, 01:26:16 PM »
I'll have to read through it again, but the flow is great.  The very minor things that I noticed are just sentences that would be better, IMO, with more plain language.  When I have a chance I'll let you know. :)
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Re: History of Starfleet -- WIP
« Reply #24 on: October 30, 2010, 06:13:01 PM »
I apologize for this taking so long, but here's Third Wave...finally. The past 6 weeks have been filled with all sorts of fun: the night dishwasher walked out in the middle of his shift; the other line cook crashed a truck owned by the catering venue that he borrowed to move into a house while having no license or insurance & was "indefinitely suspended" (that is, fired once the insurance issue is resolved); my boss quit; the new management made everything more complicated because they're catering chefs & not restaurant cooks; an out-of-state wedding; a close relative of the roommate dying of a stroke; the general manager being fired; rebuilding Guinea Pig Town; & my own psychoemotional angst. HOORAY!

Regardless, here it is. (a download link, because once again I can't seem to attach the files.) Third Wave officially covers 2214 to 2217 , when the ships were beginning production, but actually covers about 2205 to 2220-ish.